I still don’t know…

Have an itch tonight I guess.

I don’t know…

Work, people, TV, books – these are the things that fill time.

Winston is alive, not writing, feeling nothing.

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Winter is here again, and I don’t think I’ve finished writing anything I don’t hate in two years. There will be something here in prose before this year is over or I’m just going to shut it all down and figure out how reality television works. Been reading all of the William Gibson books. Currently reading the new Nicola Barker and watching all of The X-Files. I’m figuring out that aside from the odd joke, I don’t know how to social media anymore. I’m staying indoors more and more. Places with people are keeping me away. I need to get out of here.

Need to get moving and do the damn work.

It’s cold tonight. Not just a little chill, but a deep kind of cold that’s made its way into my bones. The joints all feel heavy and frozen like needing to crack my knuckles without the catharsis of a pop.

There’s not much out there tonight it seems. Despite drinking the heavier half of a coffee pot; sleep invades. Acquiescence nears, and I dream of warmth.

Soundtrack:

Web Design Is Difficult

Or: How I Haven’t Learned to Stop Doing It and Write Instead

That’s pretty much self explanatory. Making Web pages is very difficult if you want them to look good but have zero Web coding or graphic design skills. This is why places like Wix and Tumblr are popular launching grounds. This is why there are many, many templates and platforms for websites.

See my other fun titles, like:

Graphic Design Is Difficult

Or: How I Haven’t Learned to Stop Doing It and Write Instead

and

The Internet Is Difficult

Or: How I Haven’t Learned to Stop Doing It and Write Instead

/rant

I’ve been listening to Strange Days and eating leftover pizza while waiting for the coffee to finish. I decided for a while to plug in to the Internet and catch up on some friend’s blogs, Twitter, etc. I realize that I haven’t sat down and put my thoughts into paragraph form in a while, and I think maybe I just don’t have the energy for anecdotes or witticisms more than 140 characters. My daily Internet usage has been whittled down to Twitter, Instagram, web comics, work stuff and whatever I decide I need to look up at any given moment. I suppose it makes sense then that my contributions to the Internet have been Tweets, Instagrams and a new endeavor in cartooning.

Snail Sez started as a sticker idea Ugis showed me that quickly turned into an instant gratification cartoon about a week ago. I’ve been thinking about cartooning a lot, but with my ability to only draw Hitler and cocks, I felt it was best to work on something mostly digital. The snail’s empty word bubble was so you could write whatever you wanted on a sticker and put it somewhere. So we dumped some funny, witty, angry or confusing thoughts into his bubble and threw up a Tumblr. In a few hours we have a thing that will update itself daily around midnight-thirty.

It’s the first in what I hope will be a few more comic strips from our dynamic duo. He is working on some art for a little comic I’m putting together that may or may not work. I already had quite a bit of respect for people like Bill Watterson, but I am really in awe of Calvin and Hobbes while trying to figure out the most effective way to write for a short 3-strip cartoon. It’s amazing how much character and wit he was able to consistently add to those three panels.

Anyway, I’ve also been working out thoughts on web design and a way to aggregate all of the one-off or weird projects that Ugis and I get up to and also archive our old work. I think we’re content to use Ulterior Porpoises as the moniker, and you can see my crappy beta button thrashing at UlteriorPorpoises.com which is still very much a work in progress. Only the home page is up because I can’t settle on a theme and have a habit of making things worse while trying to accomplish a specific thing.

Thanks to Warren Ellis via Twitter, I know that the Russians lost control of a gecko-sex satellite and then regained control about twenty minutes after I found out. Jim Morrison’s voice fits nicely over the Sunday palette, and in the middle of it all I can only think of one thing:

Mental Note: NEED TO KEEP WORKING ON THIS!
Sketch art and characters are from my bittery dick of a pal at http://ugisart.com/. He also has these really funny comics for sale at http://futurelandfillpress.bigcartel.com

Inside a small upper suite in a run-down office park between a fortune teller and crooked account, lies the hideout of the Revengirls. The Revengirls are a team of world-traveling assassins including Stubbi, the rambunctious young dual-amputee with her long-barrel Colt .45; the human tank, Third Eye, with deadly blades extending from her arms stronger than steel beams; and their leader N-Brace whose body enhancements turn her into a living tripod for a full-size minigun. By day they bide their time as providers of irregular medical aides for the disabled and disfigured. By night this deadly trio descends on the targets of those willing to pay for their services. The only force great enough to rival their sheer power is the spirit of revenge that binds them together – revenge on the one man who crippled each of them.

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Miss Mara,

I’m running the air conditioning today, but I hope the lizards in the desert don’t freeze in that snow. I don’t understand what sort of witchcraft could make it snow in lizard land, but I hope the little guys are safe is all. If there’s a vending machine anywhere, you can always resort to Combos and M&Ms. There are definitely worse ways to be stranded in the desert. Maybe you can find some shivering lizards and offer them combos and shelter in exchange for their lizardy wisdom.

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